Push push push!  Oh no.  The bar’s coming down.  Okay, try bouncing it back up with your chest.  Use the momentum.  Push push push.  Shoot.  Okay, quick rest.  Is there anybody in here who can help me?  I haven’t seen anyone in a while.  Let me just rest and try it again.  

Stupid.  Why did you lift heavy tonight?  Why didn’t you call Brooks to come too?  Okay, that’s enough rest.  Let’s try again.  On three, push hard, like a liftoff from the rack.  Careful to keep it over my chest.  Deep breaths.  One… two… three!  Huhunnnn.  Bounce it.  Psshh.  Shoot.

Okay, think.  “A little help.”  Maybe someone came in.  Maybe they’re around the corner.  Could they hear that?  “A little help!”  I don’t see anyone.  Don’t hear anyone.  Shoot.  Two ninety-five on the Smith machine.  No need for the rack guards.  It’s the Smith machine.  You wouldn’t ever bench this without a spotter.  Shoot!  It’s slipping toward my neck.

Hold the bar!  Push a little.  Not too much.  You need to rest.  Only push with the left hand for now.  Breath.  Breath.  Just breath.  Options.  Lift it up.  One more try.  Or try sliding off the bench.  Move fast and maybe you can beat the bar down before it catches your neck.  Or wait.  Someone will come.  I’m not the only one who uses the gym at night.  What time do the apartment people clean this place?  Push with the right, rest the left.  “A little help!”

I’m alone.  No one is coming.  Shoot!  The bar slid again.  Dude!  Focus.  You have to hold this thing away from your neck!  Must!  You are running out of options to push it up at this angle.  Oh man, the bar isn’t slipping, I’m sliding down the bench.  Brace my feet!  Maybe I can push and slide out before it crushes my neck?

“Help!”  Louder, dude.  “Help!  HELP!”  Okay.  Wait a few.  Did anyone hear that?  “HELP!”  That’s not helping your grip.  Push more with your feet!  “HELP!”  I can’t hold this much longer.  Breath.  Breath.  Think.  Okay, dude.  Decision time.  Nobody’s coming.  We’re going to have to try and slide off the bench.  One big push, everything you’ve got at an upward angle.  Legs and arms.  The force will hold the bar against the machine.  You’ll quickly turn your head left and bail to the left, push hard as hell with your right arm.  

Take a few quick breaths.  On three, push hard on the right, bail left.  Hard right push bail left.  One shot!  You’ve got this!  YOU’VE GOT THIS!  One… two… THREE!